Oral sex is not Real Sex


oral appleEvery generation likes to think they invented sex, and some countries call first dibs on certain sexual practices like French kissing and Indian Kama Sutra, so I guess we will never know who or what nationality first discovered oral sex. These three words are used to define oral sex: 1. fellatio (oral sex performed on a penis), 2. cunnilingus (oral stimulation of a vagina), and 3. analingus (use of the mouth and tongue to stimulate the anus). Some studies have shown that oral sex is increasingly more popular than regular intercourse and many women have confirmed that that they are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse. While many men say they are more likely to engage in oral sex with significantly more partners than they would for intercourse. This just goes to show that oral sex has gotten very popular among young people.

So why is oral sex getting more popular?

The influences of music, TV and movies  and also the influences of pornography on our generation, has been given the credit for the increase in oral sex popularity and social acceptance. Another popular reason is the modern view that women should also receive oral sex and not just give men oral sex , so these days men are encouraged to give as often as they receive. A popular sex position for this is known as the “69”. (Yes it means what you’re thinking).

Among men and women who do practice oral sex,  one of the reasons given is because “it’s not really sex” This is a common reason among women who may or may not be virgins as it seems to preserve the desire of the person to avoid problems like unwanted pregnancy. Among men, the reason given is similar, it’s not really sex, or its less-commitment sex and of course you can’t catch STIs through oral sex? But is this really true?

Here are some experiences with oral sex:

  1. Vincent is a hottie who doesn’t believe oral sex is real sex. During his NYSC camp days, Vincent had more than 15 girls “go down on him”. It was one of the best moments of his adult life. When it’s time for real sex, Vincent is always careful and uses a condom every single time, but since he didn’t have real sex in camp so why bother? Some weeks after NYSC Camp and his Pe**s began to burn and sting, after a few days, he had bumps around it and the most painful ones appeared in between his buttock cheeks. Vincent wanted to die from the pain, itching and discomfort. He’s been to the doctor, if you want to know his diagnosis, keep reading.


2. Ayomide is a really shy person; she’s been married for 3 years but has never experimented with oral sex, but she thinks she’s ready now. Her husband was so excited when she told him over the phone and couldn’t wait to get home to her. After the act, Ayomide notices her husband’s lips have blisters at the corner. “It is fever blisters, I think I almost got malaria and my body fought it back” he tells her. She knows many people who’ve got this before and her parents used to call it Isinu. Since she’s never had it, her body must be stronger at fighting malaria, she thinks. One day she notices a wound form in her private parts, it started off looking like a group of tiny pimples. It’s in such an embarrassing spot, that she doesn’t know who to ask. After one week of enduring the pain, Ayomide fesses up and goes to the hospital. Here’s what her doctor says.

Doctor’s View

Both Ayomide and Vincent have herpes, Herpes is an infection caused by a virus. It has two common types; the one that appears on the mouth known as oral/labial herpes which many people call fever blisters or cold sores. This type is caused by Herpes Simplex Type 1 and many people catch it as children from some Aunty or uncle kissing them who had sores on their lips.  The other type of herpes appears on the genitals and is caused by Herpes Simplex Virus 2 and generally transmitted through penetrative or what people call normal or real sex.

Due to oral sex popularity, there is now an increase in finding oral herpes in the genitals and genital herpes in the mouth. The risk of catching any STI from oral sex is higher if there are wounds or sores already in your mouth like if you bit your self earlier in the day.

Are Oral sex STIs preventable?

Vincent should have used a condom during his rendezvous in NYSC. Ayomide on the other hand could reduce her risk by waiting till her husband’s cold sores had healed and stopped shedding virus actively. Alternatively Ayomide could use a dental dam;  because dental dams are not readily available in Nigeria, she can make one by cutting a condom open and placing it over her vagina.

Sadly, Herpes has no cure. Stress, illness and any immune system compromise can trigger an outbreak which is why the cold sores have their nick name. Now that it’s shown up in the genitals it’s likely to re-occur there as well. Unlike genital herpes, the oral herpes may not be as severe when it appears down there, but it’s a lot easier to catch because many people drop their guard around oral sex.

Their doctor eventually prescribed anti-viral medicine to reduce the duration of the herpes symptoms but he reminded his patients that they have to endure all the horrible symptoms as there really is no cure.

Is oral sex not real sex?

Let’s look at the facts, whether you’re a man or woman:

  1. You get aroused or climax during oral sex
  2. You are in close contact with your partner’s privates
  3. You are in close contact with their genital fluids and may even swallow some of it
  4. You can catch infections from his/her mouth and vice versa.

So do you still think oral sex is not real sex? 

My advice: Always kit up for play; it doesn’t matter if you play inside or outside the usual playground. As long as there’s any play, even if it’s foreplay, do it with a condom on.

Have you had oral sex using a condom before? Did you know that cold sores was just a cute name for a type of herpes? Leave a comment below.


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