Have you noticed it’s gotten harder to be in the mood for sex, especially if your sex drive used to be very high?
Check out these 11 sex-drive killers so you can either avoid them or learn how to manage things better.
Learning how to manage stress can help you improve your sex drive. Few people can be turned on after a very stressful day or working week, when that’s exactly what your body needs to relax and refresh. To have and enjoy sex, you first need to find other ways to de-stress. Check out these stress management tips.
2. Relationship Problems
Many women can’t make love when they are angry with their partners, while many men don’t seem to have the same issue. They can go back to fighting with you right after sex but this does not disturb their desire for their partner’s body. Always communicate your feelings and make movers to work out any bad feelings and issues, so your woman can relax and enjoy the ride. If your relationship problems are beyond your control, see a counsellor.
Many people drink to loosen up, but do you know that too much drink can take you from loosen up to lost it? There’s no way you’re enjoying sex if you don’t even remember it happening and worse if you throw up on your partner. In addition, not every one can tolerate your morning-after alcohol breath, so no good-morning wakey-wakey sex for you either.
4. Sleep and your sex drive
Sleep does more for you than you can really appreciate. Your ability to get enough sleep can directly affect your ability to get-it up or get down to business. Many women are exhausted after work, kids and chores, so if you want a more exciting sex life, why not share home chores with your woman and see if she isn’t super charged at night. “Early to bed, early to rise, makes your libido strong, healthy and rise”. Fatigue saps sexy feelings, so work on your sleep habits, and if that doesn’t help, talk to your doctor.
5. Non-sexual intimacy
Unless your sex life is very Hollywood (clothes flying off, sex against the wall every time), then you will soon find out that sex without feeling close to your partner has a short life span. Try to spend time doing other non-sex related activities (not work activities either). Talk more, text more or snuggle while watching movies, the whole romantic 9-yards. Find other ways to be close without having sex and you’ll discover that getting closer can take your sex drive from zero to hero.
6, Having Kids
Wait, I’m not anti-children (far from it), but having kids means you can’t do it on the kitchen counter top or on the dining set or piano. Once you become a parent, even with older kids, you will find out that love making time is hard to come by, or that the cries of your newborn interrupts you at night. Try hiring a babysitter, posting your kids off to grandma for the weekend and for a new baby, squeeze sex into baby’s nap time.
Some drugs might affect your libido or sex drive, this would be great if it increased sex drive, but often it decreases desire. Examples of such drug categories include: anti depressants, anti-hypertensive medicines, chemotherapy treatments, immune suppressants and some anti-HIV drugs, etc.
8. Wrong body perception
Feeling like your body is too small, too big, too fat, too thin, too short, too tall is one way to talk yourself into a low sex drive. Even if you’re working on your body through exercise or diet, you need to accept your current body and forget about your insecurities so you can enjoy the ride. If you are fine with your body and it’s your partner with worries, telling them how sexy they look is just the right kind of bedroom talk to get things going on.
9. Erectile Dysfunction
Having any kind of erectile dysfunction can lead to performance anxiety and this leads to low sex drive. This anxiety also affects men who are taking treatment for such problems as inability to gain or maintain their erection, because past experience with a disappointed partner is still very high in their mind. Try to let go of what’s past and start each sexy moment with a fresh impression.
Even reading the word depression, can have a mood dampening effect, so it’s no surprise that depressed people have lower sex drives. In Nigeria, many people do not realize when they are depressed and do not seek treatment (yes there are medicines for this) or counseling. Take the bold step, acknowledge you have a problem and seek help.
For many women, the symptoms of menopause such as hot flashes, vaginal dryness and mood changes, make this season a very uncomfortable time to have sex. But this doesn’t mean it’s impossible to bounce back and have a great sex life (think about the sugar mummies). Once you get your symptoms under control, and a generous use of lubricants, you can forget about menopause altogether and have the sex-life of your dreams. Afterall, one big advantage of menopause is you can no longer get pregnant and you don’t even have to do or use anything.